What About Mom?
Posted on May 07 2018
I've pretty much got a routine now that's working for me. It took a minute to get there. I've always worked long, erratic hours -- 12 to 18 hour days (and nights) on film and television sets, 3am phone calls and work in different time zones while building Z Palette.
Then I had kids. When they came along, I still stayed up late -- I had to keep everything moving -- and I woke up earlier to take care of them. You get exhausted when you do that. You're no good to the kids, to your friends, lovers and husbands, and definitely not to yourself.
I've had two kids over the last four years, so I've really had to get into a routine to maximize my time, enjoy my time and be present, and help get my kids into some kind of a routine too. It's been a challenge, but I think I've finally cracked some of the code.
I settle into bed around 10pm (sometimes I stretch that to 11), and I get up at 5:30. I work in the morning; I can usually get in a good two hours before the crying starts or I hear the pitter-patter of little feet. And I find that I'm more productive, more focused, and in better spirits at this time to get things done and think.
A couple of mornings ago, I was working with my husband in the office -- he's been going to bed and waking up earlier too -- and we heard the familiar rumblings at around 7:30. My mom was the first one on site -- she's been living with me, she helps with the kids, and what a blessing (and sometimes "challenge") she's been, I love her. Anyway, I looked at the clock, got up, and told my husband it was time to go upstairs and get the kids together. My husband said, "Wait, we're not finished, what about this, this, and this?" And I asked, "What about me being a mom?"
We paused for a minute, looked at each other. And he said, "You're right."
I have to always remember not to put the cart before the horse, to put everything in its place. And it's hard to do that sometimes because nowadays there are a lot of demands on one's time. And it's hard to juggle them. Everyone is overwhelmed. And there are a lot of demands that come out of nowhere that switch your focus. And your priorities switch. Or maybe they don't. Maybe they shouldn't.
They say it's hard out here for a pimp. It's hard out here for moms too. It's hard out here for working moms and career moms and moms-to-be and women in general. I get that, I accept that as part of it (life). I have to always remember that my kids are my priority. Of course I have to make a living, of course I have to grow my business, yes I have to do some things for myself, and as Luther Vandross says, "I have to stop for love." too. I'm a woman, a businesswoman, a wife, a mother. And they're all important and they all have to be nurtured. Like the saying goes, if you don't use it you lose it. Without those things, I wouldn't be motivated. The family is my engine now. Becoming a mom forces you to grow up. It forces you to think about someone besides yourself, which makes you take a look at yourself. So to all the moms out there, the moms to be, take a look at your beautiful selves. We wish you a Happy Mother's Day, keep doing your thing, all of it.